Journal of a Soldier
by Ragnarok2
Summary: The story of Carth Onasi before the events in Knights of the Old Republic leading up to his role on the Endar Spire. A one-shot fic.


Journals of a Soldier

_Prior to the events in Knights of the Old Republic_

_Disclamier: I do not own any Star Wars characters or anything related to Star Wars in any way, shape, or form._

My name is Carth Onasi. I'm off duty for now, so I'll start working a little on this electronic journal I want to write in to try and keep track of everything that's happened to me over the past few months. Everything's been happening so fast it's hard to remember what's happened. First there were the Mandalorians, then the Sith, then Telos…nothing's been easy and everything has been a struggle for survival. The Mandalorians were just the beginning; they came out of nowhere and took us completely by surprise. They began conquering planets on the Outer Rim and it was only a matter of time before they came for the Core worlds as well. We, the Republic, turned to the Jedi Council for support and advice on what to do to counter the threat. We got nothing but words of reassurance that they were working on a solution and that they would help us in due time. We waited…and waited…and waited. Meanwhile, the Mandalorians took control of planet after planet and with each planet they took they grew stronger, more vicious. We finally couldn't wait any longer.

The Republic sent word to every fleet in the galaxy that the Mandalorians were to be stopped, with or without the Jedi Council's help. We attacked the Mandalorians, but they fought back harder than we expected. We lost a lot of ground in the first few months of the war and it looked like they were going to chase us right back to Coruscant if we couldn't stop them. They countered every strategy we had and stopped every offensive move we made. There was nothing we could do; they outsmarted us at every turn. Until Revan showed up, that is. Revan was a Jedi who decided to go against the Council's wishes and follow the Republic to war. He had his followers too. His friend and fellow Jedi Malak went with him and so did hundreds of other Jedi who thought the Republic made the right move. Revan was a tactical genius, matching and even besting the greatest Mandalorian generals with every move. The war slowly turned in our favor until it was clear that we were winning the war. I was amazed at the tactics that Revan used; he was brilliant in every sense of the word. But some of the things he did appalled me.

He would leave entire worlds undefended to Mandalorian assaults, leaving countless civilians with nothing to protect themselves against the merciless Mandalorian butchers. These worlds were left in ruins just so he could better defend other worlds. I mean, sure it led to a quicker victory and less casualties in the long run, but those people had families, lives of their own. I knew soldiers, good friends of mine, who lost people close to them on planets like that because Revan wanted a fast victory. I couldn't believe he was doing things like that, but I followed my orders like the loyal soldier I was. I had sworn an oath, and that oath included doing whatever Revan told me to do. I didn't always agree with him, but I had no choice.

The war ended at Malachor V. I will never forget that terrible battle. Practically every ship in the Republic fleet was up against the Mandalorians in the last-ditch battle for control. Whoever won that battle would go on to win the war, and Revan knew it. He pulled out every stop and took no advantage for granted, gaining every little bit of leverage that would allow him to win. Bit by bit, we gained the edge in that battle over Malachor, but it still wasn't enough. It seemed that we were losing just as many ships as the Mandalorians were, and the same number of troops. On the surface, the Jedi fought valiantly against Mandalorian brigades of battle-hardened shock troops and trained soldiers. There were casualties there too I heard, several thousand soldiers and Jedi alike were slaughtered by Mandalorian assassins. It seemed there would be no way to win, so my squadron was ordered to retreat. The last thing I saw was the Mandalorian flagship the _Ravager_ taking fire from a Republic capital ship, then all I saw was the whiteness of hyperspace.

We returned to Coruscant to await word from Revan, but none came. We waited for what seemed like forever when finally, Admiral Saul Karath's vessel, the _Leviathan_ returned from Malachor V with news of the battle. The admiral told us that the battle had been won and the Mandalorian threat was over. He told us that the mass shadow generator had been activated. That bit of news sent a shiver down my spine. Every Jedi, every soldier, every Mandalorian on the planet's surface must have been killed instantly when Republic and Mandalorian ships alike plunged from space into the surface of the planet, destroying Malachor V and killing nearly everyone around or on the planet. It was terrible news indeed, but we had won the war. The Mandalorians were no longer an issue. When asked of Revan and Malak's whereabouts, the admiral didn't have any idea. They had simply vanished after the battle ended. Admiral Karath was ordered to find Revan and Malak and return them to the Jedi Council to answer for what they had done: defy the Council and go to war. I couldn't believe the Council was going to reprimand these two Jedi for saving the entire galaxy from the Mandalorians!

Saul didn't even have to leave before we had news of Revan and Malak, or should I say Darth Revan and Darth Malak. Our heroes had become brutal, conquering Sith, allied with the dark side of the Force and in control of an armada larger than that of the Republic. It didn't seem possible. How could two Jedi who had just helped the Republic defeat the Mandalorians suddenly turn on their allies? Nobody knew what to think, least of all me. All I knew was that the Republic was in serious trouble. We had just dealt with the Mandalorians and now we had to fight back the Sith and keep them from conquering the galaxy. There seemed to be no way to win, again.

Then one day, Admiral Karath pulled me aside onboard the _Leviathan_. He said he wanted to talk to me about loyalty and justice, and about doing the right thing. He said I would soon have to start thinking more about myself and less about what the Republic wanted. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! The Republic's most brilliant officer had practically just told me to turn my back on the Republic and do what I wanted to do. It was like a slap in the face; I didn't know what to do. I couldn't turn my back on the Republic like that, but I couldn't abandon Admiral Karath either. The man was my mentor, I had served under him for years and I thought we were good friends. Either I was being paranoid, or he was telling me to leave the Republic and join the Sith. I told him that I wasn't about to leave the Republic, that I had sworn an oath to defend the galaxy. He just stood there and looked at me first with pity, then with anger. He seemed furious that I had turned him down, and he left me soon after that. I was sent to Telos, my homeworld, and I stayed in the military barracks there until I was supposed to be sent off to some other system.

It was the middle of the night when the sirens sounded through the air like knives stabbing through my heart. I knew right away what had happened, but I couldn't comprehend it even as Sith fighters strafed our defenses and blasted away at our base. I looked into the sky and saw the _Leviathan_ hovering in orbit, bombarding everything it could reach. I ran to the hangar that was closest to me and made for one of the capital ships that was being prepared for launch. I knew there wasn't much we could do; the Republic was stationed too far away and wouldn't arrive for some time, so we were on our own. I could only watch, helpless, as Admiral Karath bombed everything that was important to me. Telos was destroyed, utterly destroyed. I was sent down to the surface to try and salvage whatever we could, but I was only focused on finding my family. I had a wife and a son on Telos and I was prepared to do whatever I could to find them and save them. It took some time and a lot of searching, but I finally found my wife lying in a heap of rubble. The situation was terrible. There was blood everywhere, bodies lying in the streets, and there were screams of the dying constantly reminding me of what happened.

I held my wife in my arms and screamed for the medics, but they didn't come in time. My wife died as I held her, and there wasn't a damn thing the Republic forces could do. I sat there and I cried for what seemed like an eternity as I held my dead wife. I don't know when I decided to get up again, but eventually I did and began searching for my son, fearing the worst. I looked everywhere and check every computer terminal I could find to try and get any trace of Dustil but I found nothing. I didn't know what to do, but I knew who to blame. Saul. I realized at that time that Saul _did_ want me to join the Sith and that he had done just that and betrayed us all, betrayed the Republic. I swore vengeance on that day, and I still swear to myself every night that I will find that man and kill him as soon as I have the opportunity.

And now, months later, the Republic is losing ground quickly. Darth Revan is dead, killed by a Jedi strike team sent aboard Revan's flagship to kill the Sith Lord and his apprentice, Darth Malak. But it seems that even though the master tactician is dead, things still aren't going in our favor. With every Sith warship we destroy, another fifty take its place. Their fleet seems limitless! The only hope we have is an upstart young Jedi named Bastila Shan. She has a rare gift the Jedi call battle meditation. With her power, she can influence entire armies; giving strength to her allies and making her enemies lose the will to fight. Often, that's all you need in a battle. With her help, we've steadily been gaining victory after victory, but even the top leaders in the Republic know it's not enough. The Sith are simply too powerful and it's only a matter of time before Darth Malak makes a move for Coruscant. Even Bastila's battle meditation won't help if that happens.

So here we are aboard the Endar Spire. We're in hyperspace on the way to Taris, a planet like Coruscant on the Outer Rim. The Republic has a base set up there and we need to make contact with it. I can only hope that after that things start to really turn in our favor.


End file.
